Specialising in just being.
Today I finally plucked up the courage to remove my boots and pull up my feet on my chair in a therapy session.
It was amazing to just sit in comfort, as I would normally sit if I was at home.
What is your comfort?
Comfort to me is sitting on one leg whilst the other knee is pulled into my chest. Or, both feet pulled up and curled to the side of me, sitting cross-legged, and almost always switching position.
(I mean, I would draw the line before a full-on slouch, like hanging a leg over the chair arm or sitting legs akimbo).
It's also walking around in bare or stocking feet.
It's comfy clothing that's relaxed and unrestricted.
It's circling my feet to release tension and restlessness.
I suppose you've guessed by now that some of this need is because I'm neurodivergent.
I explained to the client that I have ADHD and sitting on a chair for a long time can be painful and I'm all about comfort. I hoped they didn't mind that perhaps I don't fit the stereotype therapist posture giving Freudian vibes.
I invited the client to do whatever feels right for them too. To stand up and walk about, sit on the floor, kick off their shoes and put their feet on the sofa. Whatever makes them feel comfortable too.
I've got to the point now where I just can't keep masking, and I'm now totally invested in specialising in just being me.
I need to be fully me.
I need to sit cross-legged on my chair or the floor. Or turn up in my leggings and a hoody. Take a few notes during the session because my brain doesn't hold information like it once did, and take a moment when my brain has sped off down a rabbit hole and my mouth is struggling to keep up and construct an understandable sentence—because the 30 brain tabs are having their own group supervision and coming up with a strategy that includes drawing from several theoretical approaches and are busy joining the dots that underpin the rationale....
and breathe...
I'm wondering how the old-school therapists would view this now. I remember my first supervisor being horrified when I suggested I take a pen and paper into the session just to note keywords to come back to in the session so I didn't disrupt the client's flow...
My early training suggested you don't ask questions, you need to sit in a particular way, dress a certain way, no note taking or self disclosure, and certainly don't take your boots off and put your feet up.
Oh yeah, I sometimes swear too, and share stories about my dogs. Bloody rascals they are.
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